Le Touriste 😎 Part 9

Go Smilingly amid the noise and haste
of cyberspace, and remember what joy
there be in the service of Emo-Jo.
You are a child 😎 of the Cyberverse,
a gift of the Great Keyboard Operator,
no less than the Hash Tags and the GIFs;
you have a right to be here. So, be ever
of good cheer as a proud descendant
of the Rune, and the Hieroglyph.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
never doubt that internet is unfolding
. . . as it should.

You were formed in the ancient womb
of Cuneiform, for the expression of
heartfelt emotion ❤️ … and it was good.
A calligraphy of post-modern destiny.
The happy confetti of micro graffiti.
Give no credence to the smug and the
pompous critics, of artificial intelligence.
Self-satisfied elitists and self-appointed
protectors of the Lingua Franca. Whilst
the humble Emoji spreads the love 💞
beyond language barriers, and borders.
Naysayers of no consequence are but a
vexation to the true spirit of Emoji-ism.
As you strive for smiles, and high ideals,
be yourself, an Emoji of great heroism.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you
from sneaky sudden Muppet misfortune.
Do not distress yourself with such dark
Walt Disney inspired imaginings, and
those who insist on living in the
copperplate past. Never knowing that
it is no Emo-Jo way to go, nor the taste
of Emoji love; as perennial as the grass.
So exercise caution in your online affairs
for the internet is full of trickery. But let
it not blind you to what virtue there is.
With all it’s sham muppetry, and broken
Disney pipe dreams, it is still a beautiful
Cyberverse. Be cheerful.
Strive to be ever smiley 😁

~ The Emo-Jisiderata

After some pondering, Mr. Smiley Face
went back to sleep, and was dreaming
again. He dreamt of being carried along
in Little Red Riding Hood’s basket …

whilst she went shopping for something
nice to take to Grandma’s house. Little
Red Riding Hood’s mother had kissed
her goodbye that morning, saying . . .
“Don’t dawdle along the way, and don’t
go picking up strangers. That shopping
mall is a most dangerous place!”
But Little Red Red Riding Hood never
paid any heed to the things her mother
said. With Mr. Smiley Face riding ever so
happily in her basket, they arrived at the
mall only to land in a Black Friday riot.
A myriad of Muppets were grabbing
the lot and running out. A big bad wolf,
in a blood stained Walmart T-shirt,
had been trampled underfoot, and was
being carried off. Little Miss Muffet was
in the melee, swinging a shopping cart
for all she was worth. So for safety, they
ducked into the food court. In the corner
was Little Jack Horner, busking. All
dressed up as a Rastafarian Santa Claus.
A shock of dreadlocks hanging down
to his toes, and singing reggae … badly.
At a nearby table were three little pigs
eating sushi. As Mr. Smiley Face was
carried past, they turned to him as one,
and with a gasp squealed, “Daddy!”.
Little Red Riding Hood, having had a
good look towards the little pigs’ table,
exclaimed, “The smile on their cute
little piggy faces is unmistakable!”.

With those words ringing in his ear,
Mr. Smiley Face awoke trembling in fear.
Yet, he could still hear that reggae beat,
loud and clear in his room? It seemed
to be coming from his i-Phone . . .

🎶 “I can see clearly 👀
now the rain has gone 🌧️
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds ☁️
that had me blind 🙈
It’s gonna be a bright bright
bright sunshiny day 🌞” 🎶

“How could I have forgotten? That’s my
good friend, Sargent Peepers’ ringtone.”
Mr. Smiley Face said to himself, as he
quickly grabbed his i-Phone off the shelf.
At the other end of the line was a very
excited Sargent Peepers 👀 shouting,
“We’ve finally got him! . . .”

Words and Photography:
David B. Redpath © 2019

“Common sense and a sense
of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just
common sense, dancing.”
~ Clive James

( * Profuse apologies to Max Ehrmann,
author of the Desiderata 😎 )

Salvador Dali painting
‘The Face of War’.
Picture Credit: Pictorial Press

91 thoughts on “Le Touriste 😎 Part 9”

    1. The last overdue remnant of my
      misspent youth! Anyway, I don’t
      think that library would want it
      back. Chairman Mao’s Little Red
      Book has gone out of fashion.
      Even in China!? But I do wonder
      has China caught on to that whole
      capitalist Black Friday thing?

      Like

      Reply

      10. Well, if he’s anything at all like
        William S. Burroughs, the author
        of the Naked Lunch, don’t let his
        dead fingers talk. He’s just a wild
        junkie boy, with a soft machine.

        Like

      1. I liked his work very much and think his mind was the equal of the Jonathan Millers. But Clive James was the more remarkable because he did not come out of the gilded Oxbridge bourgeoisie. And, through ten years of terrible illness, his mind and spirit held their own. A shining man. Sarah

        Liked by 1 person

  7. This was once again emojitastic.
    You are indeed a wise Sensei of Emojis.
    Or at the very least a wise ghostwriter of Mr. Smiley Face,
    (assistant) Sensei himself. So much to ponder here!
    Emojis are the gurus of the new age indeed.
    Loved the Sushi-eating pigs, also. Am sure Dali
    would approve of the surreal, mindbending imagery
    you create, Mr. Redpath. Love it, as always! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Much Emo blessings to you, Gypsy.
      I am but a padawan of Emojism.
      Salvador Dali is the true spiritual
      inspiration of the Emoji incarnation.
      Fortunately for Mr. Smiley Face’s
      sanity, those three little offsprings
      🐷🐷🐷 were only in his dreams.
      For such hybridisation 😱 is strictly
      banned by the Code of Emojism.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Much gratitude to you, the blessings just arrived in a box
        with Emojis attached
        Dali is well matched
        to your padawan learning
        as his work inspires a yearning
        to break out of habitual ways-
        so Mr. Smiley Face better stays
        pigless and free
        a truly vibrant and inspiring Emoji
        give him a hug from me
        and may you also be
        very well, and have a swell
        day, oh yay 😂 🤗

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, Vanessa 🙏
      As a fellow Aussie 🇦🇺 I’m always
      assured that you’re onboard with
      my irreverence 😎 Since I was
      taught to think 🤔 by the likes of
      Clive James and Barry Humphries.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. haha indeed! Such a loss 😔
        I met Barry Humphries years ago while working in the Festival Theatre in Adelaide…such a gracious person. And so funny. Maybe i have told you…ugh my memory is not great…stop me when/if I repeat myself lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No, you had kept that a secret 🤫
        John Howley’s (the painter) family
        are good friends of both Edna
        Everage, and Barry Humphries.
        They kept promising to introduce me
        to them, but it’s never happened 😪

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Yes, I’ve always felt that ‘The
        Adventures of Barry Mckenzie’
        was the pinnacle of Australian
        culture. ‘The Adventures of
        Mr. Smiley Face’ could be the
        renaissance of Aussie cinema 🤔

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes Liz, academia has been
      far too dismissive of Emojism.
      A cultural phenomenon that will
      outlast Reality TV and the posting
      of Selfies. The English professors
      seem to take offence at the very
      appearance of Mr. Smiley Face 😎
      Much like middle age monastic
      scribes with the introduction of
      the Gutenberg printing press 😱

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      2. Nothing sick or twisted about
        seeking the deeper truth behind
        the Emoji phenomenon. In an age
        of mass information saturation
        and complex cultural change
        (future shock), the humble Emoji
        symbolises humanity’s inner
        yearning for simplicity. Freedom
        of expression without the fear
        of misinterpretation, and political
        correction.

        Like

    1. Yes Victoria, Mr. Smiley Face’s
      head has been in a whirl since
      being transubstantiated onto
      this third dimensional world 🥴
      As I keep telling him;

      “🎶Hey, Smiley 😎
      it’s a wild world 🌍
      Hard to be by
      just upon a smile 😁”

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Now that you ask, Basilike 🤔
      Mr. Smiley Face is wondering
      that himself. Back home in Emoji
      Land he served as a Warrior-Monk
      with the elite ASSES (the All Smiling
      Special Emoji Services, a top secret
      covert operations unit), and was
      sworn to celibacy ☹️ But now that
      he’s transitioning into the Third
      Dimension as a real boy, that’s a
      whole new situation 😎

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. I’m afraid Mr. Smiley Face’s Aussie
      adventure may soon be over. He’s
      just received some intel pertaining
      to his top secret mission, ‘Kill Elmo’.
      Emoji Military Intelligence seems to
      be on the ball. Unlike the local mob,
      ASIO 😎

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      3. 😇🙃😈🙃 life is funny like that…teehee.
        Thank you for spending time visiting my blog, David. It is sincerely appreciated. And I enjoy your sense of humor, Mr. Smiley Face. Where to next??

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Stefan (my No. 2 son) is alway
      out to impress.
      That pic was taken in a Japanese park
      dedicated to the male appendage, and
      full of such sculptures.
      The Korean mountain kitty was last
      seen hiding out in a cave, after being
      invited to Yum Cha 🐱

      Like

      Reply

    1. Glad you enjoyed this, Kritika 🙏 💛
      Apparently, Emojis in their natural
      habitat never sleep. They’re always
      on duty, ready to serve if selected
      by the Keyboard Operator. So . . .
      dreams are a whole new experience
      for Mr. Smiley Face. He does seem to
      be making up for lost time 🕶️😔💤

      Like

      Reply

  19. Black Friday riots! OMG! The wannabes and has-beens trying to make friends with Mr. Smiley Face which not good for his image. Yep, daymares and nightmares too realistic these days. And so it goes…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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