A Vampire Slayer Wedding

I must admit

that I was rather upset

and even a little bit jealous

when Buffy the Vampire Slayer

walked down the aisle with Angelus

All in a dream it would seem

Being a creature of the night

Angelus could never

walk with Buffy into the light

Unlike my good self

Since sunshine is no problem

to a Werewolf in Ray-Bans ® 😎

Under a Caribbean Moon 🏴‍☠️

At Canary Wharf
I was sold to the sea
for a golden doubloon
and half a bread loaf
Was it all worth it?
Yet … under the light
of a Caribbean Moon
I did get to hear
those mermaids sing
as in the throes
of a lover’s swoon

Indentured to serve
a thousand liftimes
as a pupil of dilation
upon the endless turgid ocean
A mere cabin boy aboard
the Good Ship Swirling Trip
duly working out
his maritime apprenticeship
under the renowned absurdist
Captain Curious Jack Crisp

Sailing on liquid sunshine
as Captain Crisp conducted
with his tambourine
that motley crew of cut-throats
in the pursuit of high seas crime
And every other kind
of pirate hijinks

Seductive the strings
of salt water violins
that would sweep you
to somewhere sublime
where the mermaids
would laugh and sing
Whilst the brass section
made harmonious love
to the amorous sky above
in three quarter time

Once
I was keel hauled
just for getting bored
(twice, you’d be buried at sea
… whilst still alive)
I was even made
to walk the plank
for giving the galley monkey
a severe spank
I had caught him drinking rum
straight from tank

But I was soon
dragged back on board
as I had in my possession
borrowed rather than stolen
the Captain’s beloved sword
A Spanish rapier
of unrivalled craftsmanship
with a bejewelled hilt of silver
He had liberated it
during an encounter
with the Spanish Armada
at great expense
to the previous owner

Now I sail
the celestite sea
with a crew of my own
all wild and free
Four sheets to the wind
And from Her Majesty
… the King
a Royal Pardon
as we go on our way
pillaging and a-plundering
For It is now I who bears
that silver hilted rapier
with which I dispatched
that despicable slave trader
the Governor of Jamaica

But always
the lingering question
When my father sold me
at Canary Wharf
all those many years ago
did he know
I’d be sailing forever
under the Jolly Roger?
Was it all worth it?
One golden doubloon
and half a bread loaf?
Yet … I did get to hear
those mermaids sing
under the celestial light
of a Caribbean moon

~Words & Images;

David B. Redpath © 2020

40 thoughts on “A Vampire Slayer Wedding”

  1. Ahoy… sold for a gold coin and a loaf of bread… through tough times you sailed high seas….. to become a righteous pirate of esteem…… I’m always partial to a good old sea shanty…

    Liked by 4 people

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    1. Sadly Liz, this pirates of the sea,
      as wicked as can be, never paid
      any attention in class 😎 So now,
      being quite illiterate, I must carve
      out a living with my cutlass ⚔️
      Alas, if my sins only numbered a
      hundred and three 😇 my mother
      would be most proud of me.

      (I think Pirate Don Durk could be
      a fake, since sadly there is no such
      place as Dowdee. Not according
      to my geography 🤔)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Those villainous vampires sent down ⬇️
      to Davy Jones’s locker after a pointed
      appointment with Mr. Pointy. Buffy’s
      trusty ever ready wooden stake ⬆️
      I did ask Buffy to sail away with me ⛵
      But after her fling with Angelus, a pirate
      werewolf was too hard for her to take 😪

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. You’ve a way with words. They flow so fluidly. I’m gunna study ur style … I dunno but they seem to be spontaneous (maybe they are!) still, there’s a poetic style here that’s well worthy of greater inspection.

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  6. Daaavvviiiidddd. Epic times a million. I fell in love with and probably will marry Your lines:

    Indentured to serve
    a thousand liftimes
    as a pupil of dilation
    upon the endless turgid ocean

    Reading Your poetry outloud is an amazing experience. Full sensory immersion. And fear not!!! Info on the internet flies and when Buffy, wherever she may be now, hears Your pleas of love…she’ll come running, I’m sure!!! 😃Thank You and Cheers!!! 🤗❤️😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks for coming aboard the
      Good Ship Swirling Trip, Katy 🙏
      I did offer to take Buffy on a working holiday to England 🇬🇧 so she could do
      the werewolves of London 🐺 🎶
      Strictly business of course 😎
      Why should those American vampires
      have all the fun?
      But instead, she prefers to hang out
      with the walking dead! Buffy’s pointed
      rebuff was like a stake to the heart 💘
      … literally 😪 💔

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. 🤣🤣🤣Ah! Once again You start my day with laughter!!!
        Poor Buffy, ignorant lass!
        Holding on to dead love from the past…
        Someday she’ll get bored and come “do” Your hoard
        The werewolves of London she’ll score!!!
        So hang tight beneath Union Jack
        If that’s actually where Y’all are at
        She’ll come a runnin’
        I ain’t just funnin’
        Simply sitting here stating the facts!!! 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Absolutely love that poem, David. ❤

    The Caribbean, the Jolly Roger, golden doubloons and mermaids are right up my alley.

    It is the stuff many of my dreams are made of.

    That werewolf in Ray-Bans 🐶😎 is a jolly good poet I must say.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. A red sky at night delighted thank
      you, Christopher 🙏 ⚓
      I must admit, I was raised by the sea,
      and spent many a happy childhood
      hour upon it ⛵ and in it 🏊 As a wee
      teen I was even ready to join the Navy.
      But then I was duly informed that
      all the buccaneering fun had been
      taken out of piracy 🏴‍☠️ 😎

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  12. rum a dum dum
    this piece should be sung
    the words they flow
    the barrels they roll
    the ship it rocks
    the ship it rolls
    Daiquiris, Mojitos and
    Pina Coladas
    life’s carefree
    on the friendly seas
    and so it goes…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. A cautionary sea shanty
      this should surely be
      sung by scurvy pirates
      full of treachery
      and mutiny
      upon the endless sea
      With a dry martini 🍸
      served for you and me 😎

      Thanks Eugenia for keeping
      an old salty sailor company 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

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