Le Touriste ๐Ÿ˜Ž Part 8

“God knows the secrets of your heart. He’ll tell them to you when you’re asleep.” ~ Bob Dylan

After a long hot day on the trail
riding through the desert
on his faithful camel, Kamal ๐Ÿช
Mr. Smiley Face settled in for the night
down that hobbit hole for hire
at the no star Barrow Creek Hotel.

Laying on a dirty stained sheet
Mr. Smiley Face started to count sheep
By the time he got to four ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
he was fast asleep ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ’ค
. . . Perchance to dream . . .
of that Porcine Puppet Queen again.
Dressed up like Little Bo Peep
A vision of loveliness, whispering sweet
in that husky, yet suspiciously falsetto
voice …
“My roast is so moist.
Come taste the apple sauce.
Don’t go saving my bacon
for a rainy day.
I’m all honey glazed
and ready to play.
Be the hot mustard
in my ham sandwich.
What do you say, big boy?
This coy Little Miss Piggy ๐Ÿท
longs to be your toy.”

With Miss Piggy on top
Mr. Smiley Face was being
hard ridden and spurred on ๐Ÿฅต
as by a relentless riding crop
“Pigs will fly!”
He heard her cry
in a race to the mountain top
Just as they reached
that distant summit
something went pop! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ

Mr. Smiley Face felt a rush
so warm and pleasant ๐Ÿ˜
he hoped it would never stop
And it does seem
that even in a dream
an Emoji can blush
as Miss Piggy looked at him
whispering …
“Thanks for the present ๐ŸŽ
I’m now a convert
to the joy of Emoji-ism.
You truly are becoming a real boy
Now wake up you pervert!”

With those parting words
and a kiss of her snout ๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿ’‹
she gave Mr. Smiley Face
an almighty slap
Enough to knock any Emoji out
But being already asleep
it had quite the opposite effect
as he sat bolt upright
in some disress
Feeling a bit sticky and wet
And with a big red welt
appearing upon on his face

It was just now dawning
upon Mr. Smiley Face
that nothing would ever be the same
since those aliens from outer space
stuffed him full of hot air
and artificial fluff
to give him a real taste of substance
… In a three dimensional sense

As Mr. Smiley Face lay in bed
now wide awake and pondering
he reached for his ying yangs
(his 3-D prescription sunglasses)
The last time he had put them on
was when he saw
that winged apparition
at the Devil’s Marbles Hotel
Was it an angel?
He just couldn’t tell
Back home in Emoji Land
there was only one angel
His name was Angelo ๐Ÿ‘ผ
And he just hung around
the Emo Jo Gallery for show
Especially around Christmas time ๐ŸŽ„
So …
if Mr. Smiley Face’s Ray Ban
Shades of Enlightenment ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ
gave him a glimpse ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
into the Third Dimension
when back home in the Second
now that he’s here in the Third
what exactly were they showing him?
There couldn’t possibly be anything
beyond this Third Realm?
Could there?

Words and Photography:
David B. Redpath ยฉ 2019

“Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakens.”
~ Carl Jung

Portrait courtesy of Michael, at
https://multiplemichael.wordpress.com/

121 thoughts on “Le Touriste ๐Ÿ˜Ž Part 8”

      1. What a misfortune to stay in a zero stars hotel. I imagine it was quite the hovel. Everything else was quite the ride! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿท๐Ÿ‘€

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We’ll, I think Mr. Smiley Face is not
        very experienced when it comes
        to Third Dimensional accommodation.
        He does seem to check into some
        dodgy dives. I dont believe he knows
        about Booking.com, or Trivago.
        Thanks anyway, for coming along
        for the Mr. Smiley Face saga ๐Ÿ˜Ž

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hahaha I am tickled so pink with these adventures (or misadventures?) of his! Airbnb is a goodbye one too if he can cook for himself ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      1. When the heat rises off that
        endless red desert, spreading
        out across the Never Never,
        you are sure to find a jolly
        swagman reaching for a beer.
        For this drought stricken land is
        as dry as a dead dingo’s donga.

        The Rolf Harris Rehabilitation Clinic
        for Juvenile Delinquents is situated
        out the back of the Barrow Creek
        Hotel, in an old sheering shed. They
        don’t mind the inmates having the
        occasional drink. Especially when
        Rolf Harris is in town. Apparently
        he is currently being otherwise
        detained … in a British clink.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I think that’s what’s at the heart of
        the Emoji’s struggle for liberation
        from the all manipulating Disney
        Corporation. The freedom of true
        expression, as expressed in
        microcosm by Emoji kind, is being
        threatened by this evil empire that
        seeks to control all media. You’ll
        soon be relying on Disney Plus +
        to stream not only homogenised
        facile fiction, but also the fake
        news deemed fit to broadcast
        … directly into your brain.
        With the bias dial set to ‘Extreme’.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve been serving under
        General Serious Face ๐Ÿง
        of the Emoji Liberation Front โœŠ
        That’s where Mr. Smiley Face
        and I first met ๐Ÿ˜Ž I was there as a
        foreign volunteer helping to fight
        the fascist forces of Facebook.
        When you sell an Emoji’s private
        data to the highest bidder, there’s
        nothing left but cyber slavery ๐Ÿ˜ช

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Chris. And yes, the adventures
      of Mr. Smiley Face are turning into
      some emojilistic pilgrim’s progress.
      I was thinking perhaps of Longfellow,
      but I’d have to ask Miss Piggy, because
      she would probably know ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes Yassy, I’ve told Mr. Smiley Face
        repeatedly that it may be OK to be
        a junk food Junkie when you’re just
        a two dimensional being. But now,
        as a growing real person of actual
        substance, be needs wholesome
        sustenance ๐Ÿฅ‘๐Ÿ‰๐ŸŒ๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿ„๐Ÿž
        Alas, he doesn’t listen to me ๐Ÿ™‰
        So yes, perhaps some corporal
        punishment might help๐Ÿงน๐Ÿ˜Ž
        (as in a spank on the backside).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. “What’s up, Doc?” ๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฐ

        But not as strange pair of
        bedfellows as the Emoji,
        Mr. Smiley Face ๐Ÿ˜Ž
        and Miss Piggy ๐Ÿท
        A Muppet! Such a dalliance
        is against all that is holy!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. ๐Ÿ™ƒ ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ โฌ…๏ธ That’s Mr. Smiley Face,
        in the corner of the Barrow Creek
        Hotel bar … losing his religion.
        He doesn’t know which way
        is up, or which way is down,
        since transitioning into a very
        confusing Third Dimension.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I can see him eating nachos at the Barrow creek hotel bar
        Downing it with some insipid liquid
        His forehead burrowed ,
        Eyes narrowed
        Donโ€™t know what the hell hit him
        True religion ๐Ÿ‘–

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Mr. Emoji-whisperer Redpath, first of all, loved those two quotes!! Genius! Love Jung.
    Great to know that Mr. Smiley Face has such deep powers of introspection – I have definitely underestimated his innocent ever-smiling visage.
    Also, good to see Mr. Smiley is a bit of a creep. I mean, who isnยดt.
    Miss Piggy is definitely a dream-worthy object of desire. Just ask Kermit the frog.
    Brilliant storyline and pictures yet again – and loved Angelo, the angel.
    Did he maybe abandon the Kelly family to turn two-dimensional?
    I am very keen to learn more about Mr. Smileys ways as he continues his journey.
    Keep it up, oh Yoda of Emojis. ๐Ÿ™‚ Very fun stuff!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It is Mr. Smiley Face who whispers
      to me his unfolding story ๐Ÿ˜Ž
      I was as surprised as anyone at his
      pork based erotic fantasies ๐Ÿ–
      But I put it down to his traumamatic
      kidnapping by those probing aliens ๐Ÿ‘ฝ
      Glad you’ve been able to follow, let
      alone make any sense of it. As the ghost
      writer ๐Ÿ‘ป of ‘The Tales of Brave Smiley
      Face’, I’m very pleased, Gypsy ๐Ÿ™ And
      hoping all questions will be answered
      . . . eventually ๐Ÿค”

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Nothing wrong with swooning over some sexy pork. ๐Ÿ–
        Except for when you are a vegetarian ๐Ÿ˜›
        These aliens are relentless. I hope and trust Mr. Smiley Face will recover. I am sure of it, though – with such a compassionate ghostwriter by his side! My warmest regards to adventureous Aussie Mr. Smiley Face, mate. Hereยดs to more questions, with or without answers ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ˜Ž

        Liked by 1 person

      2. WHAT? No one told me that.
        This is basically headline-news.
        Do not mess with my Disney stories, mate ๐Ÿ˜›
        Too much war and fighting is making me
        want to join Kamal and Mr. Smiley
        on those outback adventures ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Not to mention the gender
        stereotyping. The princess
        who always needs rescuing.
        Luckily, your averages Emoji
        is gender neutral. Except, of
        course, our intrepid anti-hero
        Mr. Smiley Face. Who, if things
        keep going (when I say “things”
        I’m referring to that dream Pork
        Pie, Miss Piggy) he’ll need some
        neutering ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Love me some Moanna style protagonist
        to put on the Disney list
        of women of a new time
        those images are just fine
        Also love me a genter neutral Emoji one
        those are always very fun
        and inspire with their deeply antagonistic
        ways, and why not
        break out of the mold like Mr. Smiley face does
        as long as its not anything too crass ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ˜

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes, there are a multitude of
        misdemeanours that the dark
        Disney Empire, and it’s band of
        puppet mercenaries, are guilty of.
        The Emoji Liberation Front โœŠwill
        not stop their guerilla campaign till
        those Muppets are held to account.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. And break King Goblin’s embargo!
        No. But the Emoji Army’s Propaganda
        Unit does transmit on Mexican Radio.
        But only in ultra high frequency ๐Ÿ‘‚
        45,000 Hz, so you wouldn’t know.
        Even if you understand Spanish.
        But Emojis and dogs can hear it quite
        clearly ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿ˜Ž

        Liked by 1 person

      7. What! But I am part dog, part Emoji…I means its somewhere in my genetic make up for sure. Did one of those “My heritage” tests, and they canยดt lie?! Ainยดt no vibing high enough, ainยดt no river low enough…๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽตDid not know that an Army could vibe that high. They are probably all bloody vegetarians ๐Ÿ˜€But honestly…you are right. Am no dog. Am a pig. Which brings us back to pork. Full-circle mate!! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I believe Kermit doesn’t quite
      hit the spot anymore for Miss Piggy.
      Being a bottom feeding amphibian,
      I can quite understand ๐Ÿธ
      Glad you didn’t find this part of the
      story too naughty, Fiery ๐Ÿ˜Ž โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I did actually stay at that particular
      establishment. The “cabins” were
      in reality metal dog boxes known as
      dongles. In the heat of the Aussie
      outback, those dog boxes can get
      as hot as hell fire๐Ÿ”ฅThe actual name
      of that particular establishment is
      the Hebel Hotel. In Australian folk
      literature it’s actually rather famous.
      A watering hole meeting place for
      bush balladeers, stockman, troopers,
      and bushrangers alike ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have only recently begun this journey into the sort-of psychedelic story line of the emoji world and wowie… That zero star hotel with a dirty stain on the sheet seems to be part of some franchise they are all around the world… Proudly sitting and waiting to give their customers a sticky experience. ๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’ve reminded me of of hotel
      I stumbled across in Bali. There
      was a reception committee of
      mosquitoes on steroids in the
      doorway just waiting to greet us.
      The bed was an ex army model
      … as in Salvation Army.
      Excellent for waterboarding.
      And the sheets had obviously
      bean used as drop cloths in a soup
      kitchen. But the pool was a nice
      attraction, containing all the
      biodiversity you could possibly
      imagine in a tropical location.
      Well worth the topical infection ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Mr. Smiley Face ordered them
      online from an optometrist in
      Findhorn, Scotland. Apparently
      an old hippy with a reputation for
      making a spectacle of himself.
      So just the man to orded a pair of
      mystical prescription ying yangs
      from. I’d recommend him to you,
      JT, but apparently he’s transcended
      to another plain of existence …
      leaving no forwarding address.

      Like

    1. Yes, I known Victoria!
      As Mr. Smiley Face keeps telling me,
      truth is often stranger than fiction ๐Ÿค”
      But honestly, I don’t believe half of
      what he tells me. Especially when it
      comes to a slice of ham friction ๐Ÿ–

      Like

    1. It’s a terrible thing, Rachel, that
      Mr Smiley Face, as like most Emojis,
      is a junk food junkie. And that dream
      Miss Piggy took full advantage of
      that sad fact. I don’t think he knows
      what a sweet potato is. But he has
      acquired a taste for sweet pork ๐Ÿท

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I did offer Mr. Smiley Face a
        BLT sandwich ๐Ÿฅช the other day,
        but he declined saying that he
        was saving himself for the next
        nocturnal dreamtime visit of
        that porky succubus ๐Ÿท
        I don’t think he realised I was
        just offering him lunch.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. So, THIS is what itโ€™s like to drop acid!

    I loved this trippy trip, Mr. David. Hey, did you know that people who use emojis have better sex lives? I read that on the internet, so it a MUST be true. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That ๐Ÿผ is ๐Ÿปa ๐Ÿฏfact ๐ŸถKara ๐Ÿฑ
      But it’s interesting that Mr. Smiley
      Face didn’t even know what a sex
      life was, until just recently. Emojis,
      being two dimensional creatures
      are, by nature, able to go up and
      down, but not back and forth ๐Ÿค”

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Kritika ๐Ÿ™
      Yes, the trials of Mrs. Smiley Face
      in his quest to become a real boy.
      I think he’ll just have to put this
      Miss Piggy thing down to experience,
      as he works it out of system with
      a good therapist ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

      Liked by 1 person

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